BODY IMAGE | how much i eat is none of your business
so, we've already sorted out that how someone else's body looks is nothing you're entitled to comment on.
i don't need to explain that anymore, right?
but there's another thing you should refrain from doing.
that is commenting on how much other people are eating.
let me get it straight, i fucking love to eat.
(and i'm eating my dinner comprising of two dishes + a piece of fruit as the dessert as i'm writing this)
many people think i really like to cook, but that's actually a bunch of bullshit, food preparation bores me to death. the only reason i do it, and sometimes spend even 45 minutes on it, is the vision of me eating all the tasty food once the horrendous process of chopping, pouring, stirring and all that is over.
if i could, i would eat 24/7. literally.
naturally, i can't, but i still eat quite a lot. often, when stressed during a school project, i eat snacks pretty much nonstop. fruit, cookies, nuts - gimme gimme gimme.
i take pride in being able to eat 3 plates at all-you-can-eat buffets.
it's not that i would eat heaps of crap, well, i do from time to time, i try to eat as healthy as i can.
it's just that my appetite is huge and my portions are big.
i (almost) always bring my own lunch to school in a plastic lunchbox. i always fill the whole box, with, usually, either pasta or couscous. when i put it on a plate at school at 12 PM, i have a lot of food; which is nice, because my school ends at 4, i usually stay a bit longer and i only get home around 5:30 PM.
but whenever i eat my homemade lunch around people, i get a lot of comments about the amount of the food i'm planning to eat. 'woah, Anna, you're sure you're gonna eat all that?' even though it is often meant as an expression of awe / wonder rather than shaming, it still gives me a slight feeling of anxiety.
the positive body image i have managed to build in my own mind shatters to pieces in a few seconds. the blame is back. and all because of someone else's need to comment on how much i eat. instead of enjoying the nutritious meal i carefully prepared which would give me strength and power to survive the day, i sit there re-thinking all my eating habits.
i'd better not eat those three cookies and an apple i was planning to eat.
why did i have to eat so much chocolate this morning?
why am i overeating so much?
do people think that i'm overweight?
what if they are trying to suggest that i should not eat that much because my stomach is already a bit too big for being considered the skinny ideal?
all those stupid questions that were racing through my mind a few years ago when i suffered from a nasty eating disorder starting with the letter A and when i considered eating one tangerine and a 'light' yoghurt as overeating are back in a moment. while i know that this is bullshit and i would never ever starve myself again because of some ridiculous pre-fabricated norm of what a 'good body' is, the feeling of you-eat-way-too-much guilt still creeps in.
and that scares me.
i don't want it all back. i want to be healthy and strong and happy with how i look; and i want other people to have it the same way. i am so glad i am able to eat these amounts of food without hating myself, so please don't reinforce these feelings in me.
the thing is - there is no such thing as the right amount of food, the right portion, the right size of a plate.
each person is different and believing that one size fits all, and this does not relate to food consumption only, is simply stupid.
eating less does not equal getting skinnier, and being skinny does not equal having a 'good body'. well, truth be told, it actually does in our superficial society, but it shouldn't - not anymore.
we are much more than our bodies.
so, next time you see someone eating a lot, or a little, do not comment on it, unless you notice the person is really suffering from some health problems related to over- / under- / bad eating habits.
do not comment on how someone else's body looks either.