04/01/2015

PURE BULLSHIT | unconsciousness

i have two thoughts that really concern me, or rather have been concerning me for a very long period already:

#01:
i cannot predict what my future will be like.

i often get this idea when i look at old pictures and i think 'oh, at that time, i didn't know that i would move to Berlin yet' or 'this me didn't have any idea that i would live in Denmark a few months later' etc.

in the same manner, the present me has no idea where i will be and what i will do in, let's say, 6 months. i do have some plans and wishes but life is often very unpredictable and surprising so you never really know anyways.

this unconsciousness is both frightening and exciting and sort of feels like a huge blank space right in front of me.

#02:
everyone is doing something right now. everyone is living right now. and i don't know about it.

all the people you can think of, including those you don't know personally, are living their life right now. they are sleeping, they are eating, they are on a train, they are taking a bath, they are feeling sad, they are hanging out with friends, EVERYONE is doing something at the moment. your best friend. your grandma. your ex. your high school teacher. your celeb crush. your enemy. literally everyone who is alive is somewhere now, doing something, thinking about something, planning something; and you will probably never know about it.

this unconsciousness just feels very strange.

(oh and imagine those two things combined - the people you will meet in the future and might become very important to you are doing something at the moment so suddenly you don't know what and who at the same time. now that's too much unconsciousness at once!)

4 comments:

  1. bod dva naprosto vystihuje to, o čem takhle přesně často přemýšlím! jsem ráda, že v tom nejsem sama :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. presne! často tako premýšlam až si uvedomím že vlastne sama moc nežijem (teda sama za seba).
    teraz sedim v posteli a hra beethoven v radiu a hučí mi počítač a ja stále čakám na to, až sa niečo konečne stane, niečo sa naozaj pohne dopredu. Refreshujem neustále poštu a čakám až mi niekto konečne odpíše a popritom rozmýšlam nad tým ako sa každý posúva ďalej, pracuje, ráno vstáva a robí to čo ma preňho zmysel .. a ja len sedím a rozmýšlam čo so sebou.
    Je to zvláštne fakt. Zvláštne a desivé.

    Veci sa budú diať a budú super (ťažké) a napredujúce.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ja sa v tom snazim koncentrovat hlavne na seba, lebo pocit, kedy ostatni sa hybu a ja stagnujem by ma dost frustroval... Niekedy ale premyslam nad tym ako kazdy zije vlastny zivot a ako sa v danom momente necakane dostaneme aj do zivotov tych druhych. Nieco na sposob filmov A. Gonzalesa Inaritu...

    ReplyDelete
  4. ja uz sem si myslela, ze ten druhy bod sdilim sama! uff
    kdysi jsem kamaradce rikala, ze jako nadprirozenou schopnost chci umet videt, co ted dela kdokoliv na svete ... je to sice trochu creepy, ale vedet, ze muj oblibeny zpevak neni jen ten prizrak z podia, ale prave v tuhle chvili dela neco (mozna) naprosto lidskeho, by bylo super :-D

    ReplyDelete