printscreens from the great Czech film Samotáři, 2000
'Czechs are nasty to each other because Czech language is nasty.'
Whenever I say I don't ever want to move back to CZ, people give me weird stares and the whole process of patriotic persuading begins. 'Why not? Czechia is such a nice country! We have the best beer here! Won't you miss your friends and family? I guess your parents aren't really happy with that. I would never do that! The Czech Republic is so nice!'
Sure I will / do miss my friends when abroad. Big times.
My parents aren't mad at me for leaving the safety of nuclear family home, why should they, I am an adult for god's sakes and I can live my life at any place I want, right. Plus, they want me to be happy, even if it means seeing me only once in a few months.
And that's the thing. I can't be happy in the Czech Republic. Believe me, I tried. I tried, tried and tried to like it, thinking that maybe it's just the small city curse. But it's the same everywhere, Olomouc, Brno, Prague, no matter which part of CZ, I feel like I don't belong there.
It all started when I began to travel a bit more and realized how each country is different. And then I actually moved to a foreign country and that was a huge twist. It actually wasn't the time I was living in Denmark that changed my view on CZ, it was caused by the comebacks to my 'home'country. Suddenly, it was not okay to wear this and that and neighbours gossiped about each other and people working in services were rude as fuck and the quality of food in supermarket was the same as the one of the damaged goods we used to get from dumpster in DK and people hit their dogs when they had run away and shop assistants never said hi and bus drivers refused to sell you a ticket because they 'don't have the change back' and and and... And all the things that are not so common abroad. I'm not used to not wearing certain shades of lipstick because if I do, a bunch of adolescent pricks will laugh at me (that's the saddest thing, even the youngsters are intolerant and judgemental) or that I am the one who initially has to be nice to the salesperson / waiter cause otherwise he / she will treat me like a piece of shit. I used to be. I'm not anymore.
That being said, I am not completely anti-CZ, not at all. I'm so excited every time I'm coming back, looking forward to my family and friends, cheap prices (of transport and food in restaurants especially) and the fact that I'm not perceived as a poor, Eastern European immigrant here. I praise Czech healthcare as it's (almost) free and the doctors actually try to cure you. Surprisingly enough, I even relish Czech beer. I am not coming back incognito and once in a few years like Milan Kundera, even though I understand why he does that.
So, call me unpatriotic, arrogant or snobbish and tell everyone that I'm just a stupid little girl constantly bragging about living abroad; but I just wanted to sum up the feelings I have whenever someone asks when I am going to move back 'home'.
And why I always answer: 'Never.'