ANALOG | disposable spring + summer

i've been planning to move all my analog pics to my official portfolio and only publish them there and keep this blog solely for thinkpieces etc., but it turns out that Wordpress isn't cooperating with me as i expected, even after numerous tries, meh. somehow i didn't even realize how long i had been trying to solve this portfolio issue, until i found out that i have around 100 unpublished analog snaps saved on my computer last week. so, let's hope i will eventually figure out how to successfully collaborate with that bratty Wordpress, but meanwhile, i will keep on posting analogs here.

i weeded out my favorite pics from that huge pile, shot over the past 6 months. 
what's happened during that time?
i started getting medication for my depression and anxiety. got accepted to Gender Studies Master's at the Charles Uni in Prague, long-distance. spent two months in CZ trying to get my mental health together. published a zine with Kink. organized an exhibit and a workshop with Soft Within. did artist management at Yo! Sissy. had many visitors in Berlin, including my mom. got my heart broken, got completely fucked over. lost a lot of money. started selling my own merch, also at Other Nature, the Berlin-based queer alternative sex shop with which i collaborated for my Bachelor thesis. went to Vienna with my parents, twice. lost a lot of weight, due to the medication. had 1 panic attack only, but still struggled with anxiety and insecurity a lot. started to enjoy cooking again. had problems with a stalker neighbor. went to Copenhagen, to visit my friends who paid for my transport as a birthday gift. started making my own perfumes. slept a lot.

13 04
Copenhagen | D at my place
sexy time in Prague
P the newspaper delivery girl
vegan tom kha gai
Black Lives Matter march
Lidl pizza date w/ N | K
D's rosemary
A's way
Vietnamese brunch in Vienna
news in Vienna | N the happy kid
queer picnic in Berlin
Soviet War Memorial | first watermelon w/ D
Prague Pride
Siegessäule | D the fairy
Soft Within exhibition
D the artist
Kink x Curated by Girls x coGalleries zine
K in Kromeriz | mom
newspaper delivery
spring in CZ
essentials | K cooked me lunch
G in Copenhagen
mom at the best pizza in Berlin (Masaniello) | L in Berlin


WORD UP | screw your language elitism

Screen Shot 2017-09-07 at 10.08.54 PM
Screenshot from Melissa A. Fabello's article "Why Grammar Snobbery Has No Place in the Movement" on Everyday Feminism

hold on before you call out someone on how they phrased something or laugh about their accent. your language snobbery is oppressive and discriminating, so please stop.

it is no secret that i hate the pompous language academia is so fond of using. however, what i want to address in this article is something a bit different, way more common (as in happening to common people, every day, everywhere), and way less bougie. nevertheless, it is equally oppressive and, fancy words aside, stupid.

now this problem is something i've noticed both amongst English and Czech speaking folks. and while it for sure happens all across our society, i wanna focus on when it shows up in queer and/or leftist activist community. what the hell am i talking about?

some sort of language/grammar discrimination. you might have noticed it already. it is my native-English-speaking friend who works as an editor and complains when articles aren’t written by other native speakers because he can simply “tell it wasn’t a native speaker.” it is my super activist leftist friends, otherwise incredibly open-minded and accepting, who get into Facebook comment fights almost daily and often call out their opponent’s grammar mistakes. it is native speakers rolling their eyes when someone tries to hold a conversation in a language that’s not their second or third or whatever and stutters or makes grammar mistakes or just has a strong accent. it is anyone who has ever dismissed someone’s opinions for how it was said/written. it is anyone laughing at someone else’s accent, or grammar, or just the way of speaking.

focusing on the form instead of on the message is a) plain stupid, b) an upright refusal to listen to those who aren’t privileged enough. because, surprise surprise, language skills are often very closely tied to class, as class not only gives access to education, it also means being surrounded by people with certain language assets, it determines your learning abilities,… class has to do with a lot of stuff, and often sets what your future life will be from the day you are born. which is why it always outrages me to see queer/leftist people call someone out on their language because suddenly their fight against the oppressive class division is gone and they become the oppressor of those less privileged themselves (and yes, i definitely stand behind the opinion that language skills are a form of privilege).

another thing is that people have learning disabilities. people have problems learning languages. people get nervous and make mistakes? should this mean they should keep their mouths shut and let those more skilled do all the talking/story telling. hell no.

by choosing to focus on how something is said instead what is said is cutting oneself off those most important stories, because those who are least encouraged to speak are usually those we should listen to the most. and when it comes from a community that actively criticizes the oppressive social hierarchy, it is just damn pathetic.


SEX ED | STDs are normal, the end.

2017-09-02 12.29.17

never had an STD? cool. 
had one, a few, many? also cool.

so many of my friends boast about never getting an STD, usually not forgetting to mention their head count. i’ve heard it so many times. but let me tell you, hun, you’re not getting a medal for that from me, nah. i mean, it’s definitely a step forward that it’s now more and more common to discuss STDs casually, but i’m not buying all that “look how clean i am” shit, sorry.

because, ultimately, STDs are just illnesses you can catch at any time of your life, just like a flu or mono or whatever. each body reacts differently, and some are more prone to getting ill, some are not. it has nothing to do with who you sleep with, how many people you sleep with and so on. it’s all about coincidence, mostly. and just let me repeat it one more time – the number of your sexual partners does not determine the likeliness of you getting an STD. you can get an STD even after your first sexual encounter.

another thing is, while you might think you’ve never had any STD, chances are you actually have. just because you’ve never experienced an outbreak of symptoms, it doesn’t mean you’ve always been STD-free! so many STDs can stay dormant in your body for years or can cause minimum of symptoms you simply disdain as something normal. unless you get tested regularly, you cannot be sure. and no, a regular gyno checkup is usually not enough.

“but i always use condoms and i bet those people who get STDs don’t!” 
 again, shush. sure, condoms are very important in minimizing the risk of getting/transmitting STDs, but they’re not almighty. for example, there are STDs that can get transferred even through the genital area not covered by condoms, such as syphilis, herpes, HPV. speaking of HPV, it is probably the most common “secret” STD people have which is, at the same time, incredibly easy to transmit. all Czechs will probably remember this huge campaign promoting the vaccination against HPV in early 2010s urging everyone with a cervix to get vaccinated asap to prevent cervical cancer (funnily enough, i don’t recall it ever mentioning what the actual cause—an STD—of the cancer was) – well, what they forgot to mention was that the vaccination used in CZ, and in many other countries, was only effective against a few specific strains of HPV but not for all of them. and, what’s more, it is usually pretty common to only use condoms for P-in-V penetrative sex, but STDs can be transmitted even through your mouth too…

it might sound scary, but it really isn’t. we’re brainwashed into thinking that STDs are disgusting, based on the doctrine that our genitals are something dirty and filthy. i guess that’s just some old-age propaganda which attempted to keep people religious, subordinate and sheepish instead of actually enjoying themselves by engaging in sex play. our genitals are nothing scary or disgusting. they’re supposed to secrete fluids (just like our armpits do with sweat), they’re supposed to have a specific smell (again, just like sweat), they’re supposed to be prone to get ill (just like every other body part does).

getting an STD does not make you impure. it does not make you irresponsible. it does not make you stupid. it does not make you a whore or a slut or a fuckboy or whatever. it does not make you any less.

when someone tries to prove how clean, responsible or sex-educated they are by taking pride in never getting an STD, they automatically imply that having an STD is indeed something bad. something to be ashamed of. and through that, they further perpetuate the stigma around sex, they victim-blame, they slut-shame. and that is definitely not right. the whole discussion around STDs needs to be reframed from promoting sexual abstinence and claiming that condoms solve all (and if you don't use them, you're a bad, silly, untrustworthy person), we need to focus in normalizing the whole experience, because only then will people feel ok about getting tested, about receiving a proper treatment and it will possible to deal with STD outbreaks, which are still common.

so, repeat after me: STDs are normal. 
STDs are (pretty much) inevitable.
STDs happen. life goes on.
you’re not better if you’ve never had one, you’re not worse if you’ve had.