TUNES | werk

all i did today was ordering train tickets, having a 3-hour-long Skype call w/ A. and putting a work-fucking-harder playlist together.
i haven't done the work though.

Adela Chloe's hashtag #thesiscrisis is a a very punctual description of my life atm.

anyways, listen to this mixtape that i listen to when i actually work.
it's industrial punk rock drone electro.



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lately, i've been often thinking about my stay in Reutlingen.

not that i would like to go back, hell no.
still, it feels so strange that i spent so much time there (4 months) and i might never come back.
wait, that's not the thing i guess.

what feels weird is remembering the whole part of my life.
it was so strange, so bizarre.
i will always remember it as a cold place. cold winter temperatures. cold hearts in people's chests. cold cobblestones on the main street i took every day on the way from school but never learnt the name of.
i felt cold while running through those nameless streets, while sitting on a bus around the countless gripped faces, while gazing at the surrounding hills, while passing the tall church in the middle of the town, scared to death at 2 AM after coming back from a concert in Esslingen, while sitting at 'home' at the absolute end of the town.
i remember i felt awful.
and that i sort of gave up. i stayed, i resigned, i waited. the city felt familiar yet so foreign at the same time.
but i felt lost all the time.
and now i feel like, somehow, this lost part of mine still wanders those cold corners of the Southern German town.
or as if i lost a part of my life there, and i want this part back.

but i'm not planning to come there again.
is this why i keep on returning there in my dreams?


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i took this picture on the last day of my stay in Reutlingen. i was waiting for a bus to Stuttgart and listening to How Did I Die by Einstürzende Neubauten. i looked at the pink sky over the hill, remembered all the times i saw the same view through the window in my dorm room; and felt empty. i thought about all the beautiful Danish skies that were waiting for me and shivers went down my spine. i knew i was leaving. it felt strange. i was not relieved, i was not excited, i just felt empty and resigned. then the bus arrived.
i never published the picture until now.
i never deleted it from my phone.


it just needed to be let out.


REMIX | shared

a few details / pics from the room i am sharing with my best greatest nicest friend P.
the window sill and old wooden window frames are my favourite.
the flats in all those old buildings of Prague are so nice.

i had always thought i'd never be able to share a room with anyone but i guess it's a different thing to share it with someone you've known for 18 years. plus i'm alone here most of the time anyways.