INSTANT | your indifference

i’m truly sorry, 
for what i never did, 
but i forgive you, too; 
for your indifference. 
you're a lonely child, 
layed open to the world, 
and when i looked in your eyes 
i saw myself there too, 
so please forgive me now, 
for what we never had, 
although its useless to say, 
i wish you happiness.
/ Swans - Feel Happiness /

two pictures i took in a slight state of delirium induced by exhaustion last night + a song i was listening to while doing so.

there is no specific link between the picture on the right, picture on the left and the song.
or maybe there is, as all things are delicately interconnected, as Jenny Holzer said in one of her works.

form follows function.

/ no, i did not use the scissors in any other way than pressing them against my face. no, i am not promoting self harm. no, i will not stop posting these strange posts. /


ANALOGUE | my grandma's place

my grandma's place is a spacious flat in a small town surrounded by the mountains in the North of CZ.

my grandma's place is a place full of memories, souvenirs, things from the past. photographs, painting, calendars, candles, tiny statues, fully grown plants, crocheted throws, pillows, glasses, ceramics, jewellery, dining sets from various parts of the world.

my grandma's place is a place where i cannot sleep well and where i am really scared at night; and i know that my mum, who spent significant part of her life there, is too.

my grandma's place is like little time capsule; the past times are kept forever in so many things. like the video cassettes with old Czech movies, cruelly divided by TV commercials from 2000.

my grandma's place has a huge living room, where a big citrus tree is standing and that tree grows real, tiny oranges from time to time. there is also a cast of the head and hand of my grandpa that had deceased a long time before i was even born.

my grandma's place is a place where i'm always fed a delicious yet simple dish containing pasta and cabbage, and with fruit compote.

my grandma's place is a place where the former kids' room is used as a meeting room, where the family sits on the huge sofa and watches the changing photos on the screen saver of my grandma's computer.

my grandma's place is a place that you cannot leave without my grandma waving at you from the balcony.

my grandma's place is very charming in my opinion.


this is the first of my little photo-projects i was talking about earlier. shot on a disposable camera from a drugstore.


ahoj, babi. chybíš mi!


REMIX | substanzen steptanzen

01: when did i turn into a health goth??? pt. 1
02: the new analogue babes. gonna be glittered soon!
03: hint hint
04: when did i turn into a health goth??? pt. 2
05: my toothbrush is very pretty
(the thing on my hand right under the black hairband is not a cut, just an imprint of my watch)
06: gifted fancy food back in the CZ: tea from Anetka, choco from my parents
07: soy ice cream + soy whip + berries = post-presentation reward

big, light, fluffy snowflakes were peacefully falling to the ground the whole morning. it was so utterly beautiful.

i'm working on a very exciting freelance assignment in a field i have no clue about (no technical skills or previous knowledge to be precise) which brings me a lot of fun but also countless i-am-such-a-talentless-failure breakdowns. fingers crossed it'll all work out well.

i got 1.9 for one of my research papers (the easier one) + the presentation. in Germany, 1.9 is something between the best and the second best mark, slightly shifting to the latter, which i find hilarious, because i am fully aware i wrote complete bullshit in the paper just to reach the page limit and fucked up the presentation deliberately. well, i'm not complaining though.

'i wish i had the money to travel like you!'
3 euros left from my budget until the end of the month.
sure, sure.

rocking goth Japanese schoolgirl outfits every single day.

considering the fact that Germans and Germany in general (minus Berlin) are extremely pissing me off already, i find it very funny how often (=daily) i listen to Einstürzende Neubauten. also that i play the song i hated when i was a child, Alles (headline reference), 3 - 5 times in a row usually. my parents are proud, i reckon.

while basically all my friends are done with finals already, mine only start on next Monday. wish me luck, pretty please.

genau genau genau.